Et tu, BYU.

Back during my law school days, the administration brain-washed us--apparently, we would be constructively stealing from the school if we neglected to give just one measly dollar to BYU's Annual Fund. After all, every dollar that we contributed was matched with FIVE dollars by an alumni! As you may have guessed, the law students embraced the administration's urging and turned the whole Annual Fund donation idea into a war among classes. [Law students? Competitive? NEVER!]

Each class, separated into 1Ls, 2Ls, and 3Ls, had a competition to see which class had the most "school spirit" and could have the highest percentage of the class participate. I think the winner was awarded a BYU creamery sheet of brownies or some other random [worthless] prize. By what would be considered my 3L year, I was incredibly busy and rarely at the law school--however, I still received an email from my class representative, asking that I donate at least $1 to the Annual Fund. Waiting 24 hours before responding was clearly too slow for the impatient sender of my email... and my own $1 donation was trumped by some psycho in the class who donated $50 on behalf of 50 members of our class who weren't quick enough with the $1 donation. I thought it would end there.

Some of you might know that I accepted an offer to work at my current company, which was then rescinded during my Christmas vacation after graduation. Luckily, everything turned out better than expected with that situation. However, it gave rise to the following conversation. [AFT = Annual Fund Telemarketer]

C: Hello?

AFT: Hi, Catherine! My name is AFT. I'm calling on behalf of BYU's Annual Fund! I see that you made a donation last year, and that you just graduated from the law school here!

C: Yeah.

AFT: Well, we thank you SO MUCH for your donation last year. And, we're wondering if you would be able to donate this year.

C: Well, I have no money because my job offer has just been rescinded. So, I'm unemployed with a whole bunch of debt that I have no money to pay.

AFT: [stammering] I'm ... sorry to hear that ...

C: Sorry. Goodbye.

Surely, it would end there, right? I was wrong again.

Apparently, "encouraging" students to donate is a ploy to get student information into the Annual Fund database... for yearly calls requesting donations to this Annual Fund. Just this week, in fact, I received another call while I was engrossed in an episode of American Idol.

C: Hello?

AFT: Hi, Catherine! My name is AFT. How are you doing today?

C: Fine.

AFT: I see here that you graduated from BYU! How did you like that?

C: Uh, it was fine?

AFT: I see that you were in the college of Family Home and Social Sciences. That's the school that I'm in too! What program did you graduate from?

C: [realizing the commercial break was quickly coming to an end] Econ.

AFT: That's great! What a great program! What have you been doing since you graduated?

C: Um, I'll tell you what--my wallet just got stolen, so I have no credit cards. If you call me in a week, I WILL GIVE YOU MONEY.

AFT: Well, that's great! Actually, we can send you out a pledge form...

C: That's fine. Ok... thanks...

AFT: ... But we need to get an amount you want to pledge!

C: Okay. Put me down for [dollar amount].

AFT: That's great! Now let's verify your address... and do you have a certain college you want this donation to go to?

C: [thinking... LET ME GET OFF THE PHONE.]

Is it me or could I have filled all that information out myself? In any case, I am now prepared. I wonder if I can program my CB to BLOCK all 801-422-**** numbers. It's definitely worth at least looking into.