Thursday, March 13, 2008

Status Check

Facebook ("FB") has changed my life.

Initially, I firmly fought joining this social networking website. I pretended to take the moral high-ground by alleging that Facebook was like all the other scandalous and/or silly networking sites on the web (think: MySpace). When it comes down to it, however, perhaps I was truly dissauded by the fear of not having any friends on the site and thereby being dubbed a "Facebook loser". *Gasp*

However, I will admit--the potential to legally stalk individuals while remaining untraceable trumped my moral high-ground, and I joined up.

Now that I have been fully integrated into the FB community, I realize how GREAT Facebook has been in accelerating relationships! Before FB ("BFB"), relationships had a much longer winding up period.

BFB: When my roommates or I found a potential crush ("PC"), we would be forced into complex operating tactics to determine the relationship status of our PC. We would offer up a friendly smile, strike up a "casual" conversation, or... if dire and risky measures were required... break out the "touch the elbow" tactic. Such risky measures, of course, would be followed by the requisite, severe over-analysis regarding the magnitude and content of the response we received from PC. On certain occasions where the response continued to be ambiguous, we would resort to the middle school-esque tactic of cornering one of PC's roommates or friends, swearing that individual to secrecy, and asking if PC was, in fact, single. However, we have taken the leap into a new generation, friends. Introducing: After FB ("AFB").

AFB: FB has introduced something revolutionary--relationship status. Not only can we now specify our own gender (which has become increasingly useful given modern gender-neutral names and the blurred line between what constitutes an acceptable man and woman), but we can also use FB to profess our relationship status to the world! The following categories are available:

1. Single
2. In a Relationship
3. Engaged
4. Married
5. It's Complicated
6. In an Open Relationship

Setting aside for a moment the PCs who list their status as "single" when their current significant others would in fact disagree with that status, and those PCs who leave just enough ambiguity on their profiles (in the form of opposite gender flirtatious wall posts and/or photos), the world is now a safe place for the elbow tactic. Go ahead. Trust that profile. Make a move.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

As a previous and current roommate of Catherine Chou I hereby go on the record to firmly state that her BFB commentary is complete malarky!! Never happened. Here's a more accurate picture...
(CC=Catherine, RM=Roomates)

CC: So I totally dig_____.
RM: Really? Great! What are you going to do about it?
CC: Nothing.
RM: Uh... why not? How will he ever know that your into him?
CC: It's his job to make a move. I refuse to do anything that is the man's role. Besides, boys suck!!

There's the truth, honest to goodness. The only kind I deal in.

Unknown said...

As a previous and current roommate of Catherine Chou I hereby go on the record to firmly state that her BFB commentary is complete malarky!! Never happened. Here's a more accurate picture...
(CC=Catherine, RM=Roomates)

CC: So I totally dig_____.
RM: Really? Great! What are you going to do about it?
CC: Nothing.
RM: Uh... why not? How will he ever know that your into him?
CC: It's his job to make a move. I refuse to do anything that is the man's role. Besides, boys suck!!

There's the truth, honest to goodness. The only kind I deal in.

Wendolamite said...

I second Tilly's comment