When in France... or in China...

I have been known to be overly dramatic on a prior occassion or two. Friends who know me well will recognize such frequently-used phrases as: "I'm going to poke my eyes out" and, more frequently, "I am going to die" and/or "Please, kill me."

Recognizing the potential effect such phrases could have on my success as a missionary, my oldest brother reminded me before I left for Taiwan that I would need to keep the death references (or requests) to a minimum, for fear that my overly-anxious companion would call the mission president and report my suicidal tendencies.

Mayor Gerard Lalanne of Southern France would scorn my flippant attitude--in response to a full cemetary and an unsuccessful attempt to adjoin private land that would extend the cemetary, Lalanne executed the following threat:

"[a]ll persons not having a plot in the cemetary and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish... Offenders will be severly punished."

He followed up his decree with stating, "It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me."

Don't mess with death. Or France. Or Lalanne.

Clearly, this is no laughing matter. But, for those of you who want to go out in a blaze of glory, I hear China's terminating technology is pretty good.