What's in a name?

My nephew pictured here is pretty cute, right? Would he still be as cute if he were named Anchor, Hades, or Ufynya [actual names from "mytopbabyboynames.com"]? Only you can decide. Proceed with caution.

Every expectant parent is faced with a similar struggle and, at one point or another, begins to ask the question--what should I name my child? In a rush to make each child feel unique, parents are jumping on the "making up baby name" bandwagon. What happened to the days when I had three Kimberly-s and two Stephanie-s in each grade level of my elementary school? I miss those days.

I recently looked up popular baby names through the Social Security administration's online database. The top ten female names for 2006 were: Emily, Emma, Madison, Isabella, Ava, Abigail, Olivia, Hannah, Sophia, and Samantha. Those seem pretty normal, right? Then I dove a little deeper.

After doing a search by state, I found that Utah's 2006 list of the top names for female births includes: Brynlee, Nevaeh, and Brielle. Not to be constrained by Utah state as a whole, my good friend from "the EC" [Emery County] forwarded me a list of teenagers put forth by the local newspaper that listed members of a dance troop with an accompanying photo. That list includes names such as: Jazlyn, Taija, Kaymyn, Makiha, Tralysa, Chandrelle, Jadree, Jarica, Nizhoni, and Auminee.

Before you choose to name your child "Nizhoni" or "Kaymyn" in an effort to make him/her stand out, let me present the following experience for your consideration.

I was on a conference call with a number of businesspeople at a large national bank during one glorious work day a few weeks ago. One of those saavy businessmen proudly carries the name "Alpine." Two of my executive-level coworkers put the conference call on mute after introductions were made, and proceeded to discuss how silly the name "Alpine" was for the next five minutes. There was also muted laughter each time the name "Alpine" was mentioned on the call.

My point is this: be careful when naming your child. Clearly, a mockable name might subject your offspring to a childhood of playground misery and torture. However, as I learned by participating in that conference call--a "unique" name might actually set your child up for a lifetime of mockery. Like I said... proceed with caution.