Pee-O'd

This morning I was proud of myself for taking the high road when I avoided swearing at the big truck that drove by and threw up a rock that chipped my windshield. I found myself wondering why my luck had taken a sudden turn for the worst lately.

When my boss and I went to eat lunch at the Chinese dive we frequent in Draper, my fortune cookie suggested that my luck might be improving--I was happy to learn that "I will never need to worry about a steady income."

However, my luck again took a turn for the worst when I struggled to disembark from my boss's SUV after lunch while carrying a few papers, my leftover hot and sour soup, a mechanical pencil, and the styrofoam carry out container with my leftover rice and entree. My boss was examining the interior of the car parked next to him, and asking me what I thought about it when, suddenly, I started feeling a suspicious warmth in an unmentionable area of my body.

I looked down... and saw that the broth from my entree had flooded the lower half of my shirt and strategically placed crotchal-area of my pants. Good thing I'm wearing grey today, eh? Grey hides dark liquid SO well.

In any case, please be informed that the heat blowing from my space heater is doing shockingly little to dry my pants while I sit here with stickiness all over my legs and other sundry areas. Also, you may be asking yourselves what the best part of this story is... as I sit here, in my work clothes, hiding behind my desk.

Personally, I think the fact that I SMELL VERY STRONGLY LIKE KUNG PAO SHRIMP will help me make lots of progress in breaking Asian stereotypes. What do you think?