Picture Report: Interlaken

I have been a shell of a human for the past week. Despite my best efforts, I have been unable to convince anyone (including the sun that all of a sudden won't set) that 7pm is an acceptable bedtime. As a result, I usually take a short nap after dinner to give me enough energy to last until my "reasonable" 9:30pm bedtime. I'm living on the edge, friends. That's right, living on the edge.

On the upside, despite my clearly weakened and exhausted state, I haven't yet been fired from my job for excessive vacationing or diminished mental acuity (aka "stupidity"). I can't complain--life is good.

I finally compiled and arranged all of my pictures on Sunday, which I am now prepared to share with the world (that's you). Above, you see a shot taken from a street in Interlaken with a pretty budding tree in the foreground and the Alps in the background. Interlaken = gorgeous. Well, let's be honest. Most of Switzerland = gorgeous. We got to know the streets of Interlaken well... as we wandered around in search of food.

And, as if that weren't enough, we also learned how to stop a smoke detector from doing its job (detecting smoke) from the handy dandy display on the ceiling in our room. I live to learn.

What's YOUR prime concern?

Some report I was listening to on NPR this morning reported that "paying for gas" was the prime economic concern for Americans... other concerns such as paying for food, paying the rent/mortgage, and finding a well-paying job fell behind "paying for gas" on the worry scale. Interesting.

Conveniently enough, I also fell upon an interesting article on MSN Money Central today addressing the oft-asked question, "Is there something that consumers can do now to immediately drive prices down?"

I am sorry to report that the answer to that question is "no". Apparently, "as with weight loss, there is no quick fix, and the only answer is predictably not sexy: Consume less. Choose fuel efficiency, car pools, public transportation, your legs. With time, an across-the-board, consistent drop in demand should equilibrate prices." Steven D. Levitt, author of Freakonomics (which tops my list of book favorites, by the way), called the recurrent one-day boycott idea a "new low in economic thinking." So a recession AND a new low in intellectual thought? Awesome.

In other words, to decrease gas prices, we should all promise to stop joining those popular Facebook groups that call for boycotts of gas on specific days, sell our Hummers or gas-guzzling SUV (if we can), and take a walk to Walmart to do some grocery shopping. I'm in.

I don't do this... promise.

Last pictureless blog

My blog has become quite drab without any pictures lately. Nevertheless, I will press on... I'll get my trip pictures uploaded eventually.

Ancient Rome, Italy: Ancient Rome is cool and deserved its own day of endless walking. The Colloseum was my favorite part of the trip. However, that visit solidified my opinion that the Roman Empire was destined to fall as all art, memorials, buildings, etc. represent that the civilization was concerned only with power, prisoners, and war. Silly Romans. Additionally, pretty much any life, bodily, or attitude ailment can be cured with a single dose of goodness from Rome's famous Gelateria. How I miss that place.

Naples and Pompei, Italy: Erupting volcanos are quite destructive, and create some disturbing castes of people who were killed quickly then buried in ash. (Sorry, but it was kind of a dreary trip to those places.)

In any case, I'm back from my rockin' trip.

Lessons learned include:

1. Air quality is severely affected if every person around you chain smokes an endless amount of cigarettes,

2. Knowing the general sleeping/store closing schedule of your town is integral if you don't want to make meals of smashed Cheese Nips, tap water, and beef jerky,

3. It is safe to assume that any drink you are "treated" to on the house will contain copious amounts of alcohol,

4. Bathrooms on trains will not smell of waste when "flushing" causes such waste to dump directly onto the track and air from the moving train to blow up the toilet opening,

5. Making out at public places including: any plot of grass or bench with a view of the Colloseum, the Trevi fountain (especially at night), or on any Metro train is a totally appropriate activity, and

6. Avoiding pickpocketers is easy if you recognize the threat, change your walking speed erratically through the Metro station, move to the side to let the potential pickpocketer pass, and, when all else fails... stare him down with beady Asian eyes.

Pictures will be forthcoming.

Blog for Suzy, wife of Owen.

I've been reprimanded for not appropriately keeping up with my blog, despite two important facts: 1) I cannot possibly write entertaining blogs about my crusades around Europe without appropriate pictures and commentary, and 2) I am going to need my brother to perform surgery to stop the hand tremors caused by typing on the tiny keys of my crackberry. However, in a spirit of loyalty to Suzy and the blog world in general, here is a quick list of lessons I have learned from the random cities I have visited over the past week or so.

1 - Zurich, Switzerland. Flying into Switzerland sure is nice. However, when the first thing you do upon disembarking the plane is shell out $220 for train tickets within the country, I'm going to admit... you are left with a bit of a bad taste in your mouth.

2 - Interlaken, Switzerland. Bongo-like drums can accompany piano and vocal solos at any hour of the day or night. 1 am is a prime concert-starting time, and any casual inquiries from weary travelers may be adequately dismissed with the comment 'welcome to the world of backpacking.' Precious.

3 - Grimmewald, Switzerland. The Alps rock. Snowboarding on the Alps might have been even cooler, but taking pictures and wandering around the Park City-esque resort town can be quite relaxing.

4 - Lucern, Switzerland. The combination of a charming city, random bridges over water scattered throughout town, and Swiss chalets on rolling green meadows against the backdrop of lakes and the Alps in rural towns outside the city limits are breathtaking. However, if you think you will not have to buy a $6 McDonalds milkshake after eating a teeny $150 'dinner', you would be wrong.

5 - Milan, Italy. Visiting the main tourist sites in Milan over the course of 3 hours and with a 22 pound pack strapped to your back is totally possible. However, chances are good that you will be laughed at by a number of Italians in the process (see prior blog).

6 - Cinque Terre, Italy. The 5 cities nestled in the Italian coast are awesome, picturesque, and so worth the hike. However, if you do choose to do the 7 mile hike between all 5 cities, you will face a ridiculous (- ridiculous, + charming) amount of rocky stairs, which are better managed when rain is not pouring down all around you (lack of rain comment is not based on actual experience).

7 - Florence, Italy. The Uffizi Gallery has some pretty great paintings and sculptures, though I must admit... the painted and sculpted women from whatever period was represented in the Uffizi cannot be considered even mildly attractive according to modern standards. The Ponte Vecchio bridge is pretty, filled with hoity toity shops, and perfect for buying a charm of none other than a miniaturized Ponte Vecchio bridge.

8 - Venice, Italy. Boats as taxis and ferries as busses? Venice is a must-see city. However, if you think you can get your daily gelato fix at 11 shortly before boarding a night train to Rome and not freeze to death while waiting in the train station until midnight, you are once again, sorely mistaken.

9 - Rome, Italy. No tourist experience is complete without getting pickpocketed on your first ride on the Subway, then waiting on the floor for almost two hours outside your locked B and B for the manager to arrive, while fending off stares and angry words by old Italian women living in the same building. Welcome to Roma.

10 - Vatican City. The 'Garden Tour' actually gives you a detailed tour of the whole city, which basically houses the Pope and his entourage. St. Peter's Basilica is the largest, most ornate piece of artwork I have ever seen, and Michaelango's La Pieta is amazing, though now housed behind bullet-proof glass and therefore hard to catch on film because of a stupid, rowdy tourist. Oh, and the Sistene Chapel? Worth the aching feet, endless droning of the tour guide, and seven million other pieces of art you must first wander through and view.That's a report of the first ten cities... just a few more before my feet have any chance of returning to normal size.

Europe Adventure: Part Two

Today I have done a couple of notable things including: 1) riding on the train for around 8 hours from Lucerne to Milan, then from Milan to Monterosso in Cinque Terre, and 2) wandering around Lucerne (a very pretty city) and Milan (also pretty, with a huge duomo with more statues affixed to it than I have ever seen in my life, some of which are quite creepy) with my 22 pound pack strapped to my back.

While riding on trains, I have found myself anxiously engaged in one of two activities--reading an entertaining Bill Bryson novel, or trying to prevent my head from bobbing too much and waking me up from my unconscious stupor via a sharp head jerking motion when the train brakes, accelerates, or moves in general (flashbacks to student life anyone?). According to that book published in 1998, the average American uses a car for 93 percent of all trips outside of the home. As a result, on average, all walking during the course of the week adds up to 1.4 miles per week, or 350 yards a day. I am sad to admit that my normal movement is probably less than that, as my steps are limited to walking from my car into work, back to my car, and random errands in various shops around town.

However, I have become a temporarily changed woman. Despite our long travel times today, we still managed to log around 15,000 steps, or 6 miles-ish in the course of wandering around Lucerne and Milan. Because of that increase in activity and the fact that any eating establishment without the primary goal of intoxicating patrons deems 6pm an appropriate closing time, I have seriously adjusted my eating habits. I now try to cram as many calories as possible into every meal.

Accordingly, we stopped for gelato after lunch in Milan today. My mint chocolate chip gelato purchased from a van beside the duomo was excellent. However, I did learn that if an American wearing a giant backpack tries to pay for gelato with Swiss Francs, that payment method will be rejected, the three men serving up the gelato will stop service for a couple of minutes to discuss that event and laugh at the silly American, and the pushy crowd trying to order their gelato will also temporarily stop pushing to point and gesture. Awesome.

European Adventure: Day 1

Forgive me in advance for any typos or grammar mistakes. I am currently "functioning" on between eight and nine hours of sleep acquired over the past fifty four hours. (The mouth of anyone who knows me well should be gaped open at this point.) Oh also, I should be coming down from my Provigil-induced high (what I like to call "legalized speed") at any time, which prescription drug is designed to keep narcoleptics awake during the day. I plan to chase the Provigil with a dose of Lunesta pretty soon...

In any case, I am of the opinion that Americans used to be able to travel in style... and even feel rich when traveling abroad. However, due to our weak economy and falling dollar, Americans have recently fallen to the bottom of the food chain. Welcome, my friends. It is a pleasure to be bottom dwellers with you.

I am 'pleased' to report that following our arrival in Zurich, Switzerland at 9am this morning, we traveled to Bern to do some sightseeing and eat lunch, Interlaken to check into our hotel and take a look around, and Thun to visit a castle in weather that could only be defined as 'blowing rain' by that point. Still running on 'just arrived in Europe' adrenaline, we then proceeded to spend an hour looking at authentic Swiss Army knives for Chantal's special Swiss purchase.

Little did we know... Interlaken shuts down at 6pm, even on Friday nights. And that, my friends, is the time we started hunting for dinner.

For a moment, you will have to suspend reality and the fact that I am traveling with a successful doctor and teacher, typing this blog on a $400+ iPaq and $100 bluetooth keyboard, both of which were electronic toys purchased by the doctor for this Europe trip. Upon rejecting wholly ubappetizing entrees suggested by our tour book for 'budget-minded travelers,' we proceeded to wander around town... in the rain... endlessly. One would think 2 or 3 grossly overpriced restaurants would have dissuaded us from our search and sent us back to our hotel room to eat our beef jerky and cheese nips.

Instead, two and a half miles later (as measured by Chantal's pedometer), we walked into McDonalds cold, wet, and dejected, only to find that a Big Mac meal cost $11. Of course, our conscience required that we reject that choice for dinner for our first night in Europe. To make a long story shorter than it could be, we all returned to our hotel slightly shaking from the graceful combination of sleep deprivation and hunger with 5 chocolate bars, a box of chocolate madelines, two cream puffs, 2 hazelnut yogurts, and the fixins for ghetto-fabulous sandwiches purchased from a local supermarket.

Lest you think my cheapness was the overriding factor here, let the record show that when the hunger shakes ceased and I asked my travel buddies if we should have just forked out the cash for dinner, they answered 'no!' together, loud and clear.

Day 1 of European Adventure. Complete. Bring on day 2.

The apple will fall far from the tree. Hopefully.

Update:

After reading the quadrilaterial quiz blog below, my very, very smart and math-minded buddy ("MMB") had this conversation with me:

MMB: I am going to suffer the same way my parents did.

C: What do you mean?

MMB: Well, I would ask them for help and they would say "I don't know. I don't do that anymore." Then I'd ask, "Mom, Dad... how do you expect me to be smart when you are so dumb?" It's going to come back full circle. I'm not going to have a clue how to answer those questions for my kids.

Our rising generation is in trouble. Well, at least my and MMB's future kids are...

Exploited!

As the best roommate ever, I often help Chantal grade her 5th and 6th grade students' papers. For the record, I'm all about efficiency and saving the underpaid teacher's time--I say, have the kids exchange papers and help you grade them immediately following the exam. Any 10-11 year old smart enough to try to get a potential tattle-tale classmate to collude with them in favor of a higher grade deserves a good grade anyway. But, I digress. Back to the subject at hand.

A couple of days ago, I mistakenly took up Chantal's challenge to take the 5th grade "Quadrilateral Quiz" she was writing. I like to think I'm pretty good at math, having suffered through a calculus-based Econ major. However, my ego suffered a major blow as Chantal refused to tell me exactly what a "rhombus" was before I took the quiz. My mistaken assumptions proved fatal as I answered the following questions:

True of False:

1._____ A rhombus is always a parallelogram.
2._____ A square is always a rhombus.
3._____ A trapezoid has two pairs of parallel sides.
4._____ A rectangle is sometimes a square.
5._____ A rhombus has four ninety degree angles.

What am I?

6. I have two pairs of parallel sides that are all the same length. I have at least one right angle. What am I? _________________________________

7. I have one pair of parallel sides. I have two acute and two obtuse angles. What am I? ____________________________________

8. I have two pairs of parallel sides. My sides are not all the same length. I have no right angles. What am I? _____________________________________

9. I am always a parallelogram. All my sides are the same length and I have no right angles. What am I? ___________________________________

Short Answer

10. What is the sum of all the angles in a quadrilateral? _______________________

Needless to say, I... ahem... failed. Further, my (logically flawless) argument to Chantal that I had not recently reviewed the subject matter fell on deaf ears.

The following day, Chantal reported my score to her math class, and told them that if they could beat my score, they were smarter than an attorney. To add insult to injury, she then handed the test out to all her fellow math teachers and relayed that same message to them. I am glad all of Westridge Elementary knows that I am a doofus who failed a fifth grade math quiz.

Yes, that's right. I have been exploited. I wonder if I could sue...

Life as an heiress is hard

Once again, I've chosen the wrong course for my future. Boo. Here I am, worrying about rising gas prices... as Paris Hilton clearly doesn't suffer with the same concerns.

Here is her schedule taken from photo a couple of weeks ago:

"TUESDAY March 18
TRAVEL - LAX to London

WEDNESDAY March 19
TRAVEL - London to South Africa

FRIDAY March 21
Good Charlotte Concert (Johannesburg)

SATURDAY March 22 - SUNDAY March 23
Safari (Cape Town)

MONDAY March 24
Good Charlotte Concert (Cape Town)

TUESDAY March 25
TRAVEL - South Africa to Germany (Munich)

WEDNESDAY March 26
TRAVEL - Munich to Istanbul

THURSDAY March 27
Judging Miss Turkey 2008

FRIDAY March 28
TRAVEL - Istanbul to Germany
Good Charlotte Concert (Saarbrucken)

SATURDAY March 29
TRAVEL - Saarbrucken to Cologne
PA - Wetten Das (time TBA, via private jet)

SUNDAY March 30
TRAVEL - Cologne to Prague
Good Charlotte Concert (Prague)

MONDAY March 31
TRAVEL - Prague to Budapest"

Can I sign up for that schedule? Maybe Paris should write a "Becoming an Heiress for Dummies" book!

Got gas?

I filled up my new car for the first time yesterday. My dad will be coming to pick up the Civic this weekend, which means I'll have the privilege of driving this premium-fuel vehicle everywhere. I'll be honest... I'm a little scared.

Fifty-two dollars and fifteen gallons of premium fuel later, I find myself wondering why our government is providing subsidies to large oil companies. These giant corporations justify the subsidies by arguing that they "allow" the corporations to allocate funds to research and development. Um, maybe I was sleeping that day in Econ 101, but isn't that what "profit" is for?

In any case, I say recession shmeesession and proudly upgrade myself from laughing out loud, to yelling... "what the freak!" everytime I go to the gas pump. How glamorous.