Sunday, September 21, 2008

A poll... to fold or not to fold...

I would consider myself to be a pretty good aunt--I'm always willing to draw from my wealth of child-rearing knowledge when my sisters and brothers ask for advice on how to teach their kidlets. Who am I kidding... my child-rearing "knowledge" comes from watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 and occasionally playing with my nieces and nephews. Whatever. In any case, I was more than happy to receive (and respond to) the delightful email quoted below.

[Note: if you are easily offended by potty humor or general references to bodily functions, stop reading now for your own safety.]

"Hello family members,

A critical question - to fold or not to fold, that is the question.

Franklin and I have been having an argument over how to teach Kaitlin to wipe her bum (we apologize if you find the topic of this email embarassing) - so the question is - do you fold or wad your toilet paper? Franklin folds and I wad and we are wondering if we were taught this by our mothers and if our siblings are the same. Also, if you have children, what have you taught them to do?

Thank you for your cooperation.

Sincerely,
The management."

I submitted the following response:

"I say fold. Wadding is for barbarians. Goodbye."

Paige, my fake sister-in-law, replied with the following:

"Well, if Catherine really wants to know how everyone does it, then I say wad. Folding is totally superfluous."

Christina, my sister, responded:

"Sorry Paige, I have to disagree. When you wad, there are always anomalies in the wadding. Some places will be many layers thick while other layers will only be one layer thick. Invariably, your kid will have a single layer between his/her bottom and his/her finger/thumb . . . and the microbiologist in me just shudders to think about the microbes that the kid, who may or may not wash his/her hands after every bathroom visit, now has all over . . . .

Of course, that's just my opinion. :-)"

Amelia, my other fake sister-in-law, disputed with the following:

"I am all about how long it takes. Folding takes so much more time than wadding AND with a more rough surface I find that wadding wipes better. To prove my point I have to say that I never take more than one wad to wipe while I hear Justin pulling toilet paper up to FOUR times, and folding the paper to wipe. And no matter if your child's hand gets a little poo on it while they wipe, that's what washing hands is for. Plus, any mom has gotten pee and poop all over their hands a million times from changing diapers, so it really isn't that horrible to get a little bit of your own poo on your hand and then wash it right off. I actually believe that folding makes you more susceptible to getting wet. A folded piece of toilet paper with no air in-between folds gets saturated through way faster then a wad with air and scrunches and that's a scientific fact that anyone can test.

Basically wadding is the only way."

Lastly, my sister-in-law submitted:

"this is one choice that you give to the child. just tell them to deal
with themselves and then wash their hands.

shelly

ps kent refuses to dignify this poll with a response. there are way
better things to fight about."

I now submit the question to you... do you fold or wad, and if you are willing to respond... why?

10 comments:

The Muse said...

I cant believe you omitted my comment from the blog. Then again, maybe I can. And maybe I'm glad.

Anonymous said...

Why in the world are you worried about it? Are you raising a robot who must sit and neatly fold before he/she can get off the toilet? Or, are you raising an independent child who can think for him/herself and make his/her own decisions. Please, youngins', please! If the child CHOOSES to fold, fine; otherwise, leave the kid alone. Shelly hit the nail on the head--at some point you have to give the child a little rope (or here, a few squares) to learn and grow. And, if by some chance the child gets a bit of poo on his/her hand, well my goodness, a mistake sometimes is the best teacher! And, if you think quickly, you can analogize hand poo and cleaning it off to, let's say--repentance, cowpies of the world that we all step in, etc., all on a child's level, of course. You get the picture.

Anonymous said...

Not willing to reveal my identity, but... my mom taught me to fold. I wad. Kids will get poo on their hands no matter what. Let them have some freedom (i.e. Frankie! Lighten up!), and spend more time teaching hand washing! :)

Paige said...

Just when I thought I had lost all self-respect, I find out that no, I actually had a shred before the world found out how I wipe. Thank you, Catherine. :) And as far as teaching your kids goes, I agree, let 'em figure it out. (oh, and apparently my mom taught me to fold...)

Paige said...

Oh yeah, and Jon and Kate Plus Eight is the best.

Roger Dunbar said...

wad = more volume = wiping WIN.

Mark and Kim said...

Wad. Folding is a waste of time!

Anonymous said...

Do we really need to be commanded in all things? Teach her to fish, and she will be able to feed herself.

Translation: Teach her to make her own decisions,and she will think for herself.

Shiloh said...

I love that this question caused so much debate. Who knew toilet paper had such power?!

Anonymous said...

Oragami, obviously!